Here I go again...

I always moan when people do not understand mental illness, I've always thought it was ignorant and wanted to punch all the ignorant people in the face. I've wanted to scream and shout what it feels like to be depressed but at the same time I didn't want to be judged. I wanted them to be supportive when I opened up about my struggles, but instead I had ignorant comments coming from all directions and sometimes still do. In fact my twitter feed is currently full of them.

People always said to me "Just eat" (as if I didn't think of that...) or "You don't look depressed though" (Sorry I forgot to bring my dark rain cloud that literally hovers above my head with me today...) and even "Its your life, you chose to be this way" (As if anyone would chooose being miserable over happy). Some of you probably still think this way, some of you probably think that actually mental illness isn't that big a deal. But I'm done with being angry at people who lack understanding.

If you don't understand mental illness, I am happy for you, honestly I am. You shouldn't have to understand. If you don't understand what it's like to struggle to get out of bed each day I hope you jump out of bed everyday with a smile on your face ready to face the day. If you don't understand why people with eating disorders can't "Just eat" I hope you enjoy every single piece of food that passes your lips and that you don't instantly feel guilty for eating it.

If you do not understand how a person can purposely harm themselves then I am glad, I hope you're never that desperate to feel something. If you don't understand why somebody would want to give up their place on this earth then I hope you never feel so hopeless and desperate for relief that suicide seems like the only answer. If you don't understand why someone can't just go to rehab or to church or to see the doctor or turn to a friend then I hope you always have somewhere to go or something/someone to turn to. Because when you're depressed it's different.

If you don't understand mental illness, good. You aren't supposed to. Thank God for ignorance.