I run out of tea bags.

I apologize for both the lack of posts and the fact that any posts that have been written have no meaning and make no sense. Although this is probably also going to be a pathetic excuse of a post, sorry..

I have just read something that says; "What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be. "
The picture in my head of how my life is supposed to be is definitely far from what it is. My plan for my life was/is..
To ideally be a millionaire so I wouldn't have to leave my bed, or at least be on £7 an hour. I'd have a family that never ever argues and tea-bags never ran out. I'm supposed to have a body a lot smaller than mine, I'm supposed to have lots of friends an existent social life. I'm supposed to eventually marry David Beckham and I'm also supposed to have some kind of talent, perhaps the ability sing or maybe even just to be really flexible.  I used to picture myself swimming in confidence and I was definitely supposed to end up a lot prettier than what I am. And while suffering with depression I didn't even picture myself living this long.

Unfortunately I have to leave my bed for all of £2.68 an hour, my family argue and the tea-bags run out. My body is larger than i'd like it to be, I have possibly 2 friends and a non-existent social life. David Beckham doesn't know I exist and my only talent is my ability to give a sarcastic response to almost anything. I have literally no confidence and I look like something off of Jeremy Kyle.  The fact I'm typing this means I have lived this long.

My life is not how I want(ed) it to be, but my faith in God is stronger than I ever expected it to be. I stopped going to church for a while and didn't ever picture myself admitting I do go to church let alone actually praying and trusting in God. His plan for my life, is bigger and better than the plan I have/had for my life.

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11