I feel like i've neglected my blog and it's readers. But my mind is all over the place and writing a half-decent post is proving impossible. It's been a rough couple of weeks but I am muddling through with the help of some wonderful people (You know who you are and I can't thank you enough).
It has been pointed out to me recently how far I've come and I hadn't actually noticed. I know that i'm still struggling a lot the past couple of weeks especially, but I know that I've been here before and will make it through. (Saying this, i just tried to list areas in which i'd come far and could only think of 1 that I'm actually happy with).
I wish I could explain how I feel, but mental illness is a funny thing and I don't even know how I feel. I know that I want to push everybody away but at the same time I don't want to be alone. I want to scream but at the same time I want to be silent. I want a hug but don't want to be touched. I want food and lots of it but I don't want to get fat. I want to have control but at the same time I want to give God control.
I don't even know why I am writing this, I don't even know why I have a blog. I don't know anything.
The only thing I do know is, when it comes to life, it goes on. This will all pass. I hope.
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