Trigger warning: Victim blaming.

Imagine a girl has gone for a few drinks in town, she's wearing heals and a tight dress that barley covers her boobs or bum. She's drunk to the point where she hasn't a clue what she's doing. Someone offers to walk her home it's 3am, she's alone so she takes that person up on their offer. Maybe this girl passes out, maybe not. But he has sex with her, non-consented sex.  Perhaps because she's passed out, perhaps because she's too drunk to physically say no. Perhaps because he thought because of what she was wearing that's okay. It's not, that is rape. (I'm not just talking about rape, any form of sexual assault is included)

Far too often victims are blamed for their assaults. 'She was drunk/ well if you wore more clothes you'd be fine/ she's slept with X amount of other people so it's okay/ she didn't say no (but was passed out on a bench)' We live in a society filled with people who try to teach woman not to get assault instead of teaching men not to assault*.

One of the arguments that girls ask for rape /sexual assault is because of the clothes they wear (Shorts, skirts, dresses, low cut tops) Females shouldn't be expected to change the way they dress because its more convenient for a rapists lack of control. In fact when I was assaulted I was wearing my school uniform, tell me now I was 'asking' for it?

There shouldn't be so much victim blaming when somebody is assaulted. It's like telling a wealthy man who gets mugged that he was basically asking for it because he was wearing a suit and gives to charity so it was obvious he likes just 'giving it away' and maybe he shouldn't of been on his own in the town where he's lived his whole life and no, just no. You wouldn't blame victims of other crimes.

No means no, not saying anything means no, not now means no. The only thing that means yes is yes. Alcohol doesn't mean consent. Clothes doesn't mean consent. Not saying no, but not saying yes either does not mean consent.

Anyway this is the end of my half asleep 2.30am rant that probably makes no sense whatsoever, goodnight x
*I know men get assaulted to

I hate the word fat.

We live in a society that promotes skinny. A society that fat shames. A society that cares so much about looks that nobody cares about the inside anymore. Young girls and boys are being told that if they don't look a certain way that they do not fit in. Except nobody realizes that if our definition of beautiful got any smaller nobody would fit, not even the size 0 girls, sorry!

Every where we look weightloss is the focus and fat is perceived as ugly, lazy, unhealthy, greedy... TV adverts tell us if we take this diet pill, or do this exercise or join this group or follow this diet we will lose weight and be happy. But skinny does not mean happy. Skinny is not a cure for the underlying issues. Having  skinny parading in front of us in the form of mannequins, models and actors/actresses in our favorite program just is not okay.

Poking fun at 'fat' people is almost second nature now and it needs to stop. Just because someone is not below a size 12 doesn't mean they aren't human. Whatever size a person is they have feelings, needs, wants, hopes and dreams just like everybody else. Why should it matter what size someone is, beauty doesn't need to be defined by the size of someones jeans, the size of someones waist shouldn't affect their worth. The number on the scales does not measure how wonderful a person is! The outside isn't even important so why does everyone care so much about how they look as well as how everyone else looks.

In the olden days (My history is terrible) being larger was a good thing, it showed you had wealth or something like that. Not too many years ago size 0 didn't exist and Marilyn Monroe was considered a beautiful model. These days she would be considered as 'plus size'. People wonder why so many girls have eating disorders, they weren't born hating their bodies though, they were taught how to. We taught them that skinny is beautiful, strong, the key to success. Skinny means having great friends, a boyfriend, and an end to all our problems.

Skinny is beautiful, but you know what? So is fat, so is average, curvy, tall, short, freckles, blonde hair, ginger hair, brown hair, white skin, black skin and everything in-between-skin, blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes, short hair, long hair, no hair, wide thighs, thigh gaps, big feet, small feet (Actually, as a general rule feet are vile). Contact lenses, glasses, slanty eyes, normal eyes, wang eyes, curly hair, straight hair, skinny arms, muscly arms, big arms, small tummies, wide tummies. Whatever you look like, whatever you weigh, you are beautiful, society is the ugly one.

Bikini body!

In England we've had four consecutive days of sun, which is quite frankly a miracle. So as summer is approaching and people will soon be jetting off on holiday I've heard a lot of talk about getting a 'Summer body / Bikini body' So here is my post on how to get a Bikini body (I know what you're thinking, how can a fat person even do a post on that....)

Honestly, there is minimum effort required to get the perfect bikini body, you might think dieting and exercise are a massive part of that but really they're not! There's two even simpler steps:

     1. Buy a Bikini
     2. Wear it

See how easy that is? You don't have to be size 0 to wear a bikini, you don't have to be size 8 either, you can be size 20 for all I care if you want to wear a bikini wear a bikini. Every person should love their body regardless as to what shape they're in. If they're comfortable in a bikini let them wear it - why? Because self acceptance is more valuable than the dress size you're in. Self acceptance is more valuable than having a flat stomach.

Being beautiful doesn't mean having to skip meals, eat too many salads, or exercise for hours at a time. Being beautiful means to be yourself - if you want to have a Mcdonalds just have a Mcdonalds. You don't need to be accepted by other people you just need to accept yourself. So if you want to wear a bikini, just wear one.  You do not need anyone else's approval!

"There is nothing wrong with your body, but there is a lot wrong with the messages that try to convince you otherwise. "

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I'm going to include as many songs in this post as possible.. So there will be a link attacked to certain words that relate to certain songs.. (so click on the pink words and judge my choice in song) because the friend this is aimed at will understand why i've done that.

So if you haven't guessed this post is about friends (or a friend).. Not as in the hilarious TV program but as in the hilarious person (Or people, haven't decided which yet). Now I have a handful of wonderful friends and while I love each of them dearly I've never really had a friend who's so similar to me it's scary, because i'm a slight bit odd.

I have a hard time making friends, My nursery report spoke about how I preferred to speak to the adults rather than people my own age and my year2 report mentioned how I'd struggled to make friends due to my lack of confidence. I spent a lot of time with the lunchtime supervisors as opposed to people my own age (Dot was my fave, she got me birthday presents - sorry st.pauls kids if i'm making you jealous). To this day i'd sooner have conversation with older people than people my own age, perhaps that's just a little bit weird. I'm not even classed as a friend most the time because of the age gaps. I'm kind of just there (well that's what I thought anyway...Familyfriend/girlfromchurch/whatever)

Until this was said to me "I asked God for a friend, and well, I didn't expect them to be so young". Well something along those lines anyway. God can work in mysterious ways, i'm not saying I am an answer to prayer or whatever, but I do believe God has a lot to do with us being friends. Turns out we have been through or are still going through some of the same things, its quite scary really. With out realizing until now she's actually an answer to my prayers too.

It's really hard to find a friend who understands, who you can trust, who gets your sense of humor (instead of getting offended, oooooops). But also who you can understand and who hopefully trusts you as well but lucky for me Gods gifted me with that friend, hooray! So, thankyou Lord. But also thankyou, person, for everything you've done for me without even realizing, just thanks for everything! You're amazing and its about time you realized that. I was about to type something then realized I couldn't because it would be obvious as to who you are, so i'm going off now before I give it away.

One last note to say... You're wonderful, okay? Glad you agree. No homo xoxox
(And for all you friendless people out there, God's pretty good, maybe if you pray to him he'll give you a friend like mine...obviously not quite as wonderful though. (in fact Gods a pretty amazing friend as well))