Recently I heard these words come out of somebody's mouth:"I wish I was anorexic, I might be skinny then". Now, I really hope this person was joking, or at the every least doesn't really understand that an eating disorder is a life-threatening mental illness. However I have come into contact with people who have spent large amounts of times looking up "tips and tricks" on how to engage in disordered behavior. The internet really is a scary place. Girls and boys encouraging each other to starve themselves, giving hints on how to skip meals, which laxatives to take, how much exercise you need to do to burn off a piece of bread etc etc.
So to the beautiful young girl who was wishing an eating disorder upon themselves, I'm going to give you some tips and tricks of my very own.
First off all I'm going to give you a shopping list:
Bandages - you'll need them. With 25% of those eating disorder sufferers also engaging in self harm there's a one in four chance you will to. While hoarding first aid supplies don't forget to invest in long sleeve tops before everywhere stops selling them in the summer!
Loo roll. You probably think i'm joking but if you're going to abuse laxatives and don't want your family to be suspicious when a whole loo role is used up in a day then you'll need to have your own secret supply.
Sleeping tablets - say goodbye to a good nights sleep they won't exist anymore.
Concealer. The lovely dark bags under your eyes definitely aren't designer.
Bubble wrap. Do yourself a favour and wrap your body in layers of the stuff. Otherwise bruising will be caused from activities such as lying on your newly prominent hipbones and sitting on a no longer suitably padded back side.
Okay, now that you have everything you need there's a few more steps to take too
prepare yourself.
Cancel all your weekend plans for the foreseeable future.Saturdays aren't for being social they're for sitting on the toilet after taking too many laxatives the night before. - On second thoughts cancel all your plans.you won't feel like seeing anybody anyway, and besides, even if you wanted to they might make you eat or ask questions when you don't.
Actually, your best option is to stop seeing your friends and family now. That way they won't see you shrink, can't question your behaviors, can't insist you get help and they only want you to get fat anyway. (By fat I mean healthy, but you won't know that at the time).
Only apply foundation in a downwards motion. Your pretty face will be covered in 'down hair' (fuzz that grows to keep you warm). Applying makeup in any other direction will cause the hair to stand out more.
While i'm on the subject of hair, your beautiful long locks will begin to fall out so I recommend you stop brushing it. Lose head hair but gain facial fuzz - sexy.
Don't bother brushing your teeth anymore. Grim, I know. Stomach acid from vomiting is only going to rot them and brushing them speeds up the process. Decaying teeth isn't a great look so you may as well slow down the process.
Start saving. You'll want to die but won't want your family to have to foot the massive cost of a funeral. A few grand will do.
Go and ask your doctor for anti depressants ASAP. If you're not depressed now you will be soon, best be prepared.
And I can not stress the importance of this enough...
You do not want an eating disorder. You are beautiful the way you are. Do not play roulette with your body it's the only one you've got. If you really want to lose weight eat healthily and exercise. Life without chocolate isn't worth living. You lose more than weight; friends, aspirations, jobs, sanity and happiness will be lost along the way. They say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels - skinny doesn't feel good, it feels like death warmed up. There is nothing wrong with your appearance, there is lots wrong with society. If you feel like you could have an eating disorder there are people and places you can turn to for help. Numbers on a scale do not define your worth. You are so loved (God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us - Romans 5:8).
