Happy world mental health day to my fellow nutters!
Joking aside, today is actually a more important day to me than my birthday. Today is the day where sufferers all around the globe are pretty much given permission to actually talk about their mental health rather than hide it. Now, seeing as mental illness is a 365 days a year issue and it only gets given one day I better cram as much into this post as possible because, God forbid, I talk about it tomorrow. Nope, wouldn't risk it, I might get hit by lightening, people might think I'm hiding an axe in my pocket, today if i talk about mental health i'm brave - tomorrow I'm an attention seeking crazy woman and the earth might just stop spinning and I, for one, am not willing to take that risk.
Now, mental health, believe it or not is a pretty big deal. 1 in 4 people will suffer with a mental illness. More people will die from an eating disorder than some forms of cancer. 1 in 10 people will suffer with anxiety/depression at any one time - that is 10% of the population - 712 MILLION 500 THOUSAND people have depression/anxiety. If that is not a big deal I have no idea what is.
Now, I have wrote post after post about living with mental illness, living with someone else who has a mental illness, spoke about how hard recovery is, spoke about how amazing recovery is, spoke about a life where chains are broken and mental illness is no more, spoke about what not to say to a person in recovery, promoted recovery, promoted mental wellness, spent so much time talking to people and encouraging them in their recovery journey, Recovery and initial suffering i have spoken about. Now I am going to do something I have never done before and if I do that after today I might turn into pumpkin. I am going to talk about relapse. Yes my friend, RELAPSE. (I hope nobody has fainted, died or melted at the word).
It's a horrible thing to talk about, if someone is recovering you do not want to believe or admit that relapse is FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE going to be a possibility. Sorry to break it to you. BUT that does not mean a person is back at square one, this does not mean that is where they will stay. So here as some of my thoughts surrounding relapse and how those around an individual can help by doing/not doing.
A person does not need to have one specific reason for relapse. No, being dumped is not the reason I'm struggling to eat. Yes, I am sure. Does it have a part to play? I don't think so but that's what everyone else seems to blame it on. However, I have started a new job, had to deal with difficult people, my clothes weren't fitting, there's been lots of changes. Maybe that's the issue, maybe i'm reverting to back to what I am comfortable with. Please do not try to pinpoint what triggered old habits, chances are the person themselves doesn't know the exact cause.
Please do let a person know that you're there for them. However, please pretty please only say this if you really mean it. Be there for them in whatever you can/feel willing to. Try not to get annoyed, try not to take things personally, try not to push too hard. If you're a prayer pray with them, if you're a listener listen, if you have time to spare offer to visit the doctor with them. Avoid trying to do/be to much, you'll burn out, they'll feel guilty.
Relapse does not have to be into the same addiction. Borris used to cut himself, he stopped 3 years ago but now he drinks until he passes out. That is relapse. The addiction is still there the self destruction is still there. Do not think that because Borris is not cutting himself he has not relapsed.
Please do not say phrases like "it's a shame, you were doing so well" say something that hurts a bit less than a stab wound. Like "You've recovered before, you can do it again" or "You're strong, you can beat this" or "I'm praying for you"
Remember that a lapse or relapse is not the end of their story. Remember that God has still got them and remind them of that. Remember that lapses are normal, remember that recovery is still possibly. Remember that talking about mental health doesn't just have to happen once a year.
"When 'I' is replaced by 'we' mental illness becomes mental wellness"
I would also just like to say a massive thanks to the people who have supported me both in my recovery and stuck with me in my lapse. I can not begin to express how much you guys mean to me and how grateful I am.
