What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Drop out of school and move to a third world country to help the poor. 

Runaway and become an actress.

Speak out about my past struggles with self injury and eating disorders instead of being embarrassed.

Jump out of a plane.

Bungee Jump.

Talk to people, like, about serious stuff.

Go out in public without looking down.

Go on a Plane or a boat.

Climb a mountain, I'd love to climb a mountain but I have a huge fear of falling.

Go out in a dress, shorts or a skirt but I hate my body so much.

Go in a hot air balloon, sky dive, run away with the circus.
Travel the world.

Write a book about my struggles in order to help others.

Move away and start completely new, stop being surrounded by people who make me feel worthless and be surrounded by nature and happiness.

Recover.

Everything I've wanted to do.

Become who I wanted to be without having to be scared of hurting people.

I'd do what I could to make everything better. Make life better, get rid of other peoples fears. Make sure all my friends are well.

Be myself instead of trying to be what society wants.

Make a difference to other peoples lives.

Eat what I want when I want with out having to feel guilty.

Meet new people who treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

Leave this place on the little bit of money I have a break free from all the stuff I deal with.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

(Thankyou everyone who gave me their answers!)

Birthday Blog!

After spending the past few months dreading being 17 its finally here. I remember once sitting with someone when things were at my worst and I was at my lowest weight and them asking "What do you want to do when you leave school?" I replied with "I wont live that long" and at the time I meant it.

I was convinced that I would not live past 16 and wasn't coping with the thought of being 17. 17 is old and I don't really think i'll get anywhere in life and blah blah blah. Today was supposed to be a hard day and in someways it was. The early hours were spent telling someone I care about that suicide wasn't the answer to their problems.

I hate birthdays but this one although off to a rough start has been quite alright. It always shocks me when people say nice things to me on my birthday, like hello, why? Im such a gimp guys. But it is actually amazing how the small kind comments make a big difference 'To the BEST neighbour in the WORLD and a lovely person to be around' 'To our lovely Lydia' 'Happy birthday brownie , you may be only 17 and im ----, but you are one amazing friend xxx' 'you've gotten through another year and i'm so proud of you... Thankyou for being a brilliant friend' ''I hope you have the most wondefullest birthday my dearest, you deserve it more than anyone I know '

AND the most exciting bit about today? The fact that i have a wonderful friend who threw me a wonderful surprise party thing and Jilly you are brilliant and I can't thank you enough. I am so touched by today and thank you everyone who made today bearable like I can't even put into words right now how much peoples kind words and actions mean to me. 

And guess what.... I made it to 17! Hoorah (I think) even though that means im an adult next year so should probably think about doing something with me life, but i'll panic about that in something like 330days.. Once again thankyou brilliant people, especially you Mrs Walker!!! It means sooo sooo soooo much xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
(And thankyou everyone for the presents/cards/messages. You're all fab)
((Note to self: Diet starts tomorrow, birthdays are rubbish reasons to binge))