The past few days i've not been very well. That's bad because I hate being unwell, I had to have time off work and I revert back to being a small child and demand sympathy. It's good because I get to sleep lots and it means I've lost weight.
It also meant I had to visit the doctor. Which meant I needed to get weighed. My BMI has dropped and all they can say is "You still look healthy" I wrote a post before on mental illnesses being diagnosed using physical criteria.. I now meet the physical criteria but I'm not meeting the expectations of physical appearance. Something is wrong here.
You can not look at someone's physical appearance and know whether or not they are ill. I am underweight that is a fact, whether I look it or not is irrelevant.
It's like telling someone with depression they don't look suicidal so they can't be that bad.
Telling someone with cancer they don't look like they're dying so it can't be terminal.
Telling someone with diabetes they look normal so it's okay if they have a huge slice of cake.
Someone with dementia that they look clever so to stop fooling around.
YOU WOULDN'T DO IT.
So why is it different when it comes to eating disorders? Or is it really just because i'm fat...
Friday 30 May 2014
Monday 19 May 2014
A New Name
My post's are all rubbish and for that I can not apologize enough, so instead of writing a post im just going to send you a link to someone elses..
CLICK HERE to read Emma Scriveners post entitled 'Eating with an anorexic' It's full of some useful idea's for those of you who may be aiding someone in their recovery journey.
In fact all of her blog posts are fabulous so maybe you should stop reading my blog and start reading hers.
CLICK HERE to read Emma Scriveners post entitled 'Eating with an anorexic' It's full of some useful idea's for those of you who may be aiding someone in their recovery journey.
In fact all of her blog posts are fabulous so maybe you should stop reading my blog and start reading hers.
Sunday 18 May 2014
sorry
Can I just remind the entire human population that drawing attention to the amount somebody does or does not eat is not okay and neither is joking about mental-disorders.
Do not question my portion size. It is 10000% unacceptable to say "Is that all you're having?" or "you need more than that" because that will make me feel like I'm not recovering as well as I like to believe. And on the opposite end of the scale if you say something like "That's a lot!" or "I've never seen you eat so much!" there is a 3000% chance that I will feel guilty for eating it and probably end up wasting it and not eating the next day either. There's also a slim chance I will punch you. Do not mention it, too much or too little, don't say a word.
Please also don't turn eating disorders into a joke, the most recent being "I think i'm anorexic, everytime I look in the mirror a see a fat person" (Said by someone who is potentially overweight...) And NEVER EVER make an eating disorder seem like an okay/normal thing I recently heard someone say "You could always chuck up your meals, you still get to eat it and not have the calories" and I honestly think they were being deadly serious.. Do not encourage disordered behaviors if they follow through with that they will be damaging themselves and ruining their life. Eating disorders are not funny or some quick weightloss fix that you can do until you've achieved a size 8 body. They are serious life threatening mental disorders, what's so funny about that?
And if everyone on facebook wants to stop doing that "comment one food and I wont eat it for a month" thing that would be greatly appreciated. If you have your heart set on losing weight restricting certain food's is not the way to go about it. I feel like im writing the same thing over and over again, sorry about that...
Do not question my portion size. It is 10000% unacceptable to say "Is that all you're having?" or "you need more than that" because that will make me feel like I'm not recovering as well as I like to believe. And on the opposite end of the scale if you say something like "That's a lot!" or "I've never seen you eat so much!" there is a 3000% chance that I will feel guilty for eating it and probably end up wasting it and not eating the next day either. There's also a slim chance I will punch you. Do not mention it, too much or too little, don't say a word.
Please also don't turn eating disorders into a joke, the most recent being "I think i'm anorexic, everytime I look in the mirror a see a fat person" (Said by someone who is potentially overweight...) And NEVER EVER make an eating disorder seem like an okay/normal thing I recently heard someone say "You could always chuck up your meals, you still get to eat it and not have the calories" and I honestly think they were being deadly serious.. Do not encourage disordered behaviors if they follow through with that they will be damaging themselves and ruining their life. Eating disorders are not funny or some quick weightloss fix that you can do until you've achieved a size 8 body. They are serious life threatening mental disorders, what's so funny about that?
And if everyone on facebook wants to stop doing that "comment one food and I wont eat it for a month" thing that would be greatly appreciated. If you have your heart set on losing weight restricting certain food's is not the way to go about it. I feel like im writing the same thing over and over again, sorry about that...
Sunday 11 May 2014
Ive said this before
Dear boys and girls, ladies a gents. I think what I am about to say I have a said a million times before but it is important.
I just want to remind each and every one of you that YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE. It seems every single conversation i've had recently turns into one about weightgain, weightloss, diets, exercise, raspberry ketones, calories... It is genuinely breaking my heart to know that so many people feel that they need to lose weight or meet some sort of social constructed idea of healthy.
My heart honestly sinks when I hear someone talk about their body in a way that I would talk about mine because I know how much it hurts to be so disgusted with your body that losing weight seems like the most important thing in the world. I hate how so many I people I know cry over the number on the scale. An inanimate object, a piece of glass (or plastic) should not be the thing that determines how you feel about yourself. A clock is also plastic and shows numbers, you wouldn't let a clock affect you in such a way a scale does... it makes no sense.
Whether you are 4 stone, 14 stone or 40 stone the number should not change your worth as a human being. There is so much more to your life then stupid numbers and fad diets and trying to get skinny for summer. If you want to eat cake go a head and eat it and if you gain weight who the fuck cares. Anyone who cares about your weight does not care about you. You don't need to lose weight to impress anyone.
So please dear humans of the world can you all try to love yourself a little bit more and talk about weightloss a little bit less..
I just want to remind each and every one of you that YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE. It seems every single conversation i've had recently turns into one about weightgain, weightloss, diets, exercise, raspberry ketones, calories... It is genuinely breaking my heart to know that so many people feel that they need to lose weight or meet some sort of social constructed idea of healthy.
My heart honestly sinks when I hear someone talk about their body in a way that I would talk about mine because I know how much it hurts to be so disgusted with your body that losing weight seems like the most important thing in the world. I hate how so many I people I know cry over the number on the scale. An inanimate object, a piece of glass (or plastic) should not be the thing that determines how you feel about yourself. A clock is also plastic and shows numbers, you wouldn't let a clock affect you in such a way a scale does... it makes no sense.
Whether you are 4 stone, 14 stone or 40 stone the number should not change your worth as a human being. There is so much more to your life then stupid numbers and fad diets and trying to get skinny for summer. If you want to eat cake go a head and eat it and if you gain weight who the fuck cares. Anyone who cares about your weight does not care about you. You don't need to lose weight to impress anyone.
So please dear humans of the world can you all try to love yourself a little bit more and talk about weightloss a little bit less..
Thursday 1 May 2014
I am scared.
In 77 days, that's 110,880 minutes, and if you prefer 6,652,800 seconds I will be on my way to South Africa. I will be there for 42 days, that's 60,480 minutes, and if you prefer 3,628,800. In the 1008 hours that I'm there my life style will have to be completely different to what it is now. Things. Need. To. Change.
Now, while 6,652,800 seconds might seem a lot, it's not as long as something else I've been waiting for. Help. I've been actively trying to get help for more than 365+ days, that's 525,949 + minutes, and if you prefer 31,356,000 seconds and counting... If I'd of been given the help I need even 100 days ago, that would be better than the position I'm in now.
I have 77 days in which I need to recover. Now I have to make up my mind of how to go about this. Do I spend, perhaps, 30 days attempting to lose weight and get to a low enough weight that they will have no choice but to help me, then give them 47 days to stabilize not only my mental but my physical health to. Or the other option is go it alone. 77days. That's 231 meals, 154000 calories (assuming a normal amount is 2000 per day), and a weight gain to deal with, without the help of professionals and with very little support. For some reason I don't think either have a very high success rate.
So instead in 77days all my disorders behaviors will suddenly have to STOP. I will have no choice but to hold down meals and eat off different plates and consume more than 300 kcals a day, I wont be able to make my own meals so I know exactly what goes into it and I certainly wont have internet access to google the calorie contents. That scares me. I will not mentally be able to cope with that.
I needed the support to have started 365 days ago. In fact the support should of started 1826 days ago. But the mental health services and (sometimes) doctors are rubbish because to them it doesn't matter how low I feel because my BMI is too high. Im scared about being 5979 miles away from home knowing that I will not be able to cope simply because my mental health was determined by my physical appearance. Oh NHS, you've got something wrong.
Now, while 6,652,800 seconds might seem a lot, it's not as long as something else I've been waiting for. Help. I've been actively trying to get help for more than 365+ days, that's 525,949 + minutes, and if you prefer 31,356,000 seconds and counting... If I'd of been given the help I need even 100 days ago, that would be better than the position I'm in now.
I have 77 days in which I need to recover. Now I have to make up my mind of how to go about this. Do I spend, perhaps, 30 days attempting to lose weight and get to a low enough weight that they will have no choice but to help me, then give them 47 days to stabilize not only my mental but my physical health to. Or the other option is go it alone. 77days. That's 231 meals, 154000 calories (assuming a normal amount is 2000 per day), and a weight gain to deal with, without the help of professionals and with very little support. For some reason I don't think either have a very high success rate.
So instead in 77days all my disorders behaviors will suddenly have to STOP. I will have no choice but to hold down meals and eat off different plates and consume more than 300 kcals a day, I wont be able to make my own meals so I know exactly what goes into it and I certainly wont have internet access to google the calorie contents. That scares me. I will not mentally be able to cope with that.
I needed the support to have started 365 days ago. In fact the support should of started 1826 days ago. But the mental health services and (sometimes) doctors are rubbish because to them it doesn't matter how low I feel because my BMI is too high. Im scared about being 5979 miles away from home knowing that I will not be able to cope simply because my mental health was determined by my physical appearance. Oh NHS, you've got something wrong.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)