I wish it was acceptable to just be like 'You know what, today I'm having a bad mental health day and I need support/a hug/my bed/alone time.'But, unfortunately, it's not.
For me every day is hard, but some days are unimaginably hard. Not for any particular reason and not for reasons people understand. It's not like I have deadline to meet, exams to sit or something like a funeral to attend. The days are not hard in that sense.
They're hard because I want to be as useless as I feel. I want to crawl back into bed and not wake up for at least 10 years. I don't want to talk or eat or move or exist. Today was one of those days. Usually that would mean actually going back to bed and staring at the ceiling for hours upon hours, but my job stops me from doing that.
And it's hard because the anti-depressants don't work and the motivation to recover is lost and I can't sleep to stop my brain from going 100 miles an hour.
I don't know why I'm writing this so I'm going to stop because it doesn't make it sense and its not going anywhere.
No comments:
Post a Comment