Who am I?

Am I the 10 year old Lydia who was above average or the 17 year old that's far below?
Am I a hypocrite for preaching recovery when I'm relapsing?
Am I the girl who doesn't eat when she's in public or the girl who'll binge until she can barely move in private?
Am I a victim of sexual assault or am I survivor?
Am I the results I got in my GCSES or am I simply just a 'drop out'?
Am I 'One of the triplets' or am I an individual?
Am I the person who's always helping others, or the person who always needs help?
Am I the self inflicted scars or the scars that have a story behind them?
Am I the girl who trusts in God when things are going okay, or the girl who doubts her beliefs when they're not?
Am I the socially awkward introverted Lydia or the Lydia who is drunk but suddenly extroverted?
Am I the names I call myself, or the names other people call me?
Am I the size of my jeans, the number on the scale, or the reflection I see in the mirror?
Am I the gap between my chunky thighs or the bulge of my stomach?
Am I the tidiness f my bedroom or the messiness of my mind?
Am I the girl who once had hopes for the future or the girl who gave up?
Am I the 800+ friends on facebook, or the 130 followers on twitter?
Am I the energetic Lydia that was always up to something, or the one who now struggles to get out of bed?
Am I the 99% of me that's given up or the 1% that's still fighting?
Am I the Lydia that wants a baby or the Lydia who's unable to have one?
Am I the Lydia that used to try her best at everything, or the Lydia who no longer tries?
I don't know who I am.