I know things are hard right now, believe me I do. Some days it seems like life is okay and you're content with being alive. Other days, or maybe a few hours later everything feels like it's crashing down. Your life is falling apart, but not at the seems because you can't seem to sew it back together. You're crying so hard that you have to gasp for breath, but as quietly as possible because you don't want people to hear you cry.
You're not sure what is worse being so sad that you want to hurt yourself, or being so sad that you can't physically move to get the knife. It feels like everything is too much the weight of the world is getting heavier and heavier. It feels like you have nothing left to live for.
It feels like nobody loves you, nobody cares and why would they? Because you feel like you're a piece of shit so they must think you are to. You think you want to kill yourself but you don't want to hurt the people that were once 'close' to you. You've gone over your suicide note in your head 50 times and still can't get it right. "I'm sorry" but sorry won't being you back, sorry won't make it better, this isn't accidentally bumping into someone in a supermarket, this is your life.
I know this because I've been there too. I know this because every day I see my scars and am reminded of how I once felt. I know this because the anti-depressants don't work and nothing anyone says or does changes the fact that you feel empty.
But let me tell you somethings you don't know.
Feelings pass, right now you don't think they will but remember that time when you were happy, whether it was last week, yesterday, years ago or when you were 5. You can feel like that again, and I know you won't believe me now but it's true.
Suicide stops your bad feelings. That's obvious. But it stops the good ones too, you can never feel excited, hopeful, beautiful ever again. And neither will the people who loved you, your bad feelings have just been passsed on to them. I know you think nobody cares but believe me they do, I do.
Scars are permanent. The knife, razor, lighter, scissors seem like a good idea now, but in ten years time when you've found the love of your life and have children together you're going to have to explain those scars and not everybody understands.
Chocolate makes it all better (okay this one is purely opinion) and i strongly recommend topdeck but we can't all go to Africa and get it so oreo chocolate would be next in line.
Getting out of bed is worth it. Doesn't seem like it when you've got nothing to get up for, no one to get up for. But believe me, shower, get dressed (do your makeup), and go for a walk, the fresh air does amazing things. But distract yourself from the thoughts while you're at it. Count every red car you see, touch the trees admire their beauty. God created our beautiful surroundings and he created you, go so the world he made for you to live in!
Talking is great. You might not want to talk about it but a 'problem shared is a problem halved' just knowing somebody is listening is a good thing, having someone in your hour of need. If you can't bring yourself to do it, write it down. Tell someone how you feel. Doctors, friends, parents someone you trust. I promise you somebody will listen.
If you or anyone you know is suicidal and you don't know what to do please call any of these..
999 if you think the person is at risk to themselves, has injured themselves or you suspect they have taken an overdose.
0800 11 11. Childline will take calls up until you're 19 years old, they also have a website in which you can talk to someone via a messenger instead.
Getting out of bed is worth it. Doesn't seem like it when you've got nothing to get up for, no one to get up for. But believe me, shower, get dressed (do your makeup), and go for a walk, the fresh air does amazing things. But distract yourself from the thoughts while you're at it. Count every red car you see, touch the trees admire their beauty. God created our beautiful surroundings and he created you, go so the world he made for you to live in!
Talking is great. You might not want to talk about it but a 'problem shared is a problem halved' just knowing somebody is listening is a good thing, having someone in your hour of need. If you can't bring yourself to do it, write it down. Tell someone how you feel. Doctors, friends, parents someone you trust. I promise you somebody will listen.
If you or anyone you know is suicidal and you don't know what to do please call any of these..
999 if you think the person is at risk to themselves, has injured themselves or you suspect they have taken an overdose.
0800 11 11. Childline will take calls up until you're 19 years old, they also have a website in which you can talk to someone via a messenger instead.
08457 90 90 90. The Samaritans take calls 24/7 someone is always there to listen.
0800 068 41 41 Papyrus supports teenagers and young adults who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.
0800 068 41 41 Papyrus supports teenagers and young adults who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.
And heck, if you have my number, text me.
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